Laff on FRIDAY

1. What is a KISS?
It's an upper PREPARATION for a lower INVASION that will lead tofurther PENETRATION with fast ACCELERATION that will build nextGENERATION.

2. SEXTISTICS.
Latest Statistics: What men do after sex?2% eat. 3% smokecigarettes. 4% take shower.5% go to sleep. 86% get up and go back hometo their wives.

3. WHATS BETTER THAN A CREDIT CARD?
Why is your dick better than a credit card? 1. Once spent recharges itself. 2. It is accepted worldwide. 3. You can let your wife use it as much as she wants.

4. SALTY PEANUTS:
LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, I just found out that our neighbor's son has apenis like a peanut! MUM: You mean it's small? LITTLE GIRL: No it's salty!!!

5. WHOLE THING:
A couple recently married was happy with the whole thing.He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing.

6. CUSTOMER COMPLAINTS:
A man was carrying 3 babies in a train. LADY: The lady sitting next to him asked: Are they your babies?MAN: No,I work in a condom factory and these are customer COMPLAINTS.

7. Women TOP 6 LIES:
6. am hvn my period
5. I am a virgin.
4. It is so big..
3. I can't do that to my best friend.
2. I won't gain weight after marriage
1. I am coming! I am coming!!!

8. MAGIC:
A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says: You want to play magic.She says: What is that? He says: We go Home, screw, and then youdisappear.

9. What is the closest thing to a woman's period?
Your SALARY... It comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days, and if itdoesn't come, you are F*CKED!!!

10. COMING.
Teacher asked: Which part of the body goes to heaven first?
A Kid replied : The legs...because everynight I see my mum's legs uphigh and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING".

11. CAT IN DANGER
Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school?Pupil : Because I heard my sister's boyfriend say
"TONIGHT I WILL EAT YOUR PUSSY".

12. STAGE CURTAIN
What's the difference between a panty and a stage curtain??Answer : When you pull down the stage curtain, show is over, but whenyou pull down the PANTY... IT'S SHOWTIME.

13. AGES OF VAGINA:
-16 to 19 BRAND NEW. -20 TO 28 SLIGHTLY USED -29 TO 36 SECOND HAND -37 TO 45 SUBJECT TO REPAIR -46 TO 55 FOR LUBRICATION -56 TO 60 TOTAL WRECK -61 TO 70 CLOSED FOR RENOVATION!!!!!!!

14. DON'T STOP
MUM: Didn't I tell you if stranger touches your breast say "DON'T".And if he touches your pussy say STOP! GIRL : But mum, he touched both, so I told him DON'T STOP!!!!"

ENJOY!