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Friday, May 9, 2008

Analysis of the "F" word

Lesson 1: Analysis of the "F" word/
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word “F***”. It is the one magical word, which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, “F***” falls into many grammatical categories.

It can be used as a verb -
both transitive (Mary f***ed John)
and intransitive (John was f***ed by Mary).

It can be an action verb (John really gives a f***),
a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a f***),
an adverb (Mary is f***ing interested in John),
or as a noun (Mary is a terrific f***).

It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is f***ing beautiful)
or an interjection (f***! I'm late for my date with Mary).

It can even be used as a conjunction (John is ugly, f***, he's also stupid).

As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word “f***.”

Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:
1) Surprise -- “What the f*** are you doing here?”
2) Fraud -- “I got f***ed by the car dealer.”
3) Resignation -- “Oh, f*** it!”
4) Trouble -- “I guess I'm f***ed now.”
5) Aggression -- “F*** YOU!”
6) Disgust -- “F*** me.”
7) Confusion -- “What the f***, ?”
8 ) Difficulty -- “I don't understand this f***ing business!”
9) Despair -- “F***ed again, ”
10) Pleasure -- “I f***ing couldn't be happier.”
11) Displeasure -- “What the f*** is going on here?”
12) Lost -- “Where the f*** are we?”
13) Disbelief -- “UN-F***ING-BELIEVABLE!”
14) Retaliation -- “Up your f***ing ass!”
15) Denial -- “I didn't f***ing do it.”
16) Perplexity -- “I know f***-all about it.”
17) Apathy -- “Who really gives a f***, anyhow?”
18) Greetings -- “How the f*** are ya?”
19) Suspicion -- “Who the f*** are you?”
20) Panic -- “Let's get the f*** out of here.”
21) Directions -- “F*** off.”
22) Awe -- “How the f*** did you do that?”

It can be used in an anatomical description -- “He's a f***ing asshole.”
It can be used to tell time -- “It's five f***ing thirty.”
It can be used in business -- “How did I wind up with this f***ing job?”
It can be maternal -- “Motherf***er.”
It can be political -- “F*** Clinton!” or
“F*** OBJ!”

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history:
“What the f*** was that?” -- Mayor of Hiroshima
“Where did all these f***ing Indians come from?” -- General Custer
“That's not a real f***ing gun, is it?” -- John Lennon
“Who's going to f***ing find out?” -- Richard Nixon
“Why the f*** did that apple hit me?” -- Issac Newton
“Heads are going to f***ing roll.” -- Marie Antoinette
“I could have used a f***ing map.” -- Ulysses
“Where the f*** is all this water coming from?” -- Captain of the Titanic
“Any f***ing idiot could understand that.” -- Albert Einstein
“It DOES SO f***ing look like her!” -- Picasso
“Okay, I know, we'll build this BIG f***ing wall to keep them out.” -- Emperor of the Ch'in Dynasty
“I can't believe I just f***ing said that.” -- Patrick Henry
“f***ing backstabbers!” -- Julius Caesar
“You want what on the f***ing ceiling?” -- Michelangelo
“Fellatio is not f***ing!” -- Bill Clinton
“Where is that f***ing pizza guy?” -- Elvis
“Why? Because its f***ing there!” -- Sir Edmund Hilary
“I don't suppose its going to f***ing rain?” -- Joan of Arc
“Scattered f***ing showers my ass.” -- Noah
“I need this parade like I need a f***ing hole in my head.” -- John F. Kennedy
“What are the f***ing chances I'm going to heaven?” -- Adolf Hitler
“Hey, where the f*** are your turbans?” -- Christopher Columbus when he discovered the “Indians”.

Coming soon. . .
Analysis of the "S" word - "SH*T".

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